https://www.sein.de/der-weg-zum-herzen-hingabe/
HomeGeistPersonal growth
The way to the heart: dedication
July 29, 2010
Personal growth
2 comments
Chuck Spezzano claims: "Every problem is a relationship problem, and all conflicts come from broken hearts." For the Hawaiian, who specializes in healing just that, forgiveness and the willingness to surrender and engage in life are the most important prerequisites for the path back to love. Alexandra Clara Giray and Django Hediger talked to Spezzano.
Chuck, you are considered a relationship specialist. For example, where is it wrong between men and women?
For example, men are doers and want to do something about a problem. You want to be the hero in a situation. But that is not at all what the woman expects of them. She may like this at the beginning of a relationship, simply because one of the oldest ways to win over a man is when she is in trouble as a woman and is saved by him. But what a woman really yearns for is to be loved. She does not want to be improved, she does not seek any solution to her problem, she wants to be loved. If you are a doer as a man and you really want to do something, then combine your doing with love and it will be romantic - and women love romance.
Your last book and seminar are called "Healing begins in the heart" - what does that mean for you?
Before we are touched in the heart, we may do many things to change, but nothing really works. But when our heart is touched, then we are inspired, then we have the motivation to take new steps. And with every touch, your heart opens and heals a bit more. It is a natural growth. To give oneself to love, to the bond, to forgiveness - that is what opens our hearts and minds.
You call your work Psychology of Vision - what does that mean?
Psychology of Vision is a path of healing and bonding - towards greater awareness and awakening. It's about getting to know and love ourselves on a deeper level of the soul and thereby experiencing our destiny - the reason we came here.
What I have realized is that relationships are central to everything. Every problem is basically a relationship problem - diseases as well as money problems. So when relationships are healed, the problem is cured.
A second aspect of POV is helping others - the leadership principle. One way to help us heal is to help others. If you help someone, then you are helped too. It helps you and the other to get into a river. That's why a model from POV is called Friends Help Friends.
The third aspect of my work is the aspect of spirituality, a non-dogmatic spirituality, which means that it is about love, greater integrity - which in turn means that it is an expanded consciousness. These are all aspects of spirituality. As your spirit grows, as you get more in touch with your Spirit, you are more peaceful and happy. Then you will live a life of abundance.
Why are you still fascinated by the topic of relationships - even after 39 years of working with them?
I myself was not natural in terms of relationships. In fact, I did almost everything wrong, which one can do wrong. My childhood and adolescence were not easy, but I eventually realized that if I'm not prepared to learn about relationships, I probably will not survive. So I was completely devoted to the question of what I'm doing wrong, to learn from it and move on. The more I opened up, the better I became in relationships. I just learned the lessons that I had to learn to get ahead. And why I move on the same path for so many years? Because I will be rewarded. With every new lesson I have learned, more love and joy have spread throughout my life.
I can still remember the day before my wedding with Lency, my wife. I looked up to heaven and complained: If you want me to marry, why did not you at least give me a good example of a happy marriage? It was one of the moments in my life where I heard the voice - and if you ever heard the voice, then you know that you are being talked to and you really should listen. And the voice said to me, "If you do not really have a living example of a happy marriage, it's because you've been the one who has promised to be the good example." And I realized: Oops, sorry , my mistake ... I could clearly see and feel deep inside that it was true, what I had just heard: that I had promised to show people what a happy relationship might look like. It's not that Lency and I did not have our problems with each other, but I developed the dedication and willingness to take responsibility for what was happening in me and to learn to heal it in me. Not to blame her, to not force her or to demand that she change, but to learn my lessons and change me. And after 25 years now I can really say: I am really happy in my relationship. So what still motivates me is the success that has set.
How do you connect with your heart?
One thing I can say that really works is devotion. Your willingness to surrender, to let yourself in, to open your heart. When you get involved, when you make the choice to surrender completely, then your life leads you and your heart can open. You do not have to deal with it yourself, that's not your job. Your job is your willingness, your involvement. And if you give yourself up, open yourself, then again and again a new part of your shared consciousness will be healed. So you go on, to the next mountain. If you are attentive to your relationship - even as regards your partner's equality, because equality is one of the central aspects of a relationship - and getting you involved in the next step and your partner, that will quickly move you forward.
