"... I have received a letter of thanks from one of my Japanese students whose wife has gone up two bra sizes because he has brought the energy back to her."
To see this in context, here is the entire transcript. The video is entitled Tiger Woods and is over ten minutes. It was originally posted Apr. 1, 2010. It was filmed at the studio of the artist Spar Street, who was himself a Psychology of Vision trainer at one time. A Spar Street painting of Tiger Woods is in the background:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8aPN1y2XnI
Tiger Woods
I've been asked a lot about Tiger Woods lately and what's going on. So the first thing is let me set the stage is anybody who is a star, anybody who is playing at that kind of visionary level or zone level or whatever they're doing they haven't repressed their sexuality as much as most people.
Y'know the average person is only running at about 20% of their sexuality because there's so much repression and sometimes exaggeration. But what happens is the more you let out the more creative force there is for whatever your world is about.
So and in Tiger its obviously about golfing and sports. So but there's this great level of sexual energy.
Now there's a lot of relationship mistakes that have been made here and of course everybody's made these mistakes as life goes on but not everybody has had affairs.
The biggest mistake in a relationship is that we expect the other person to attract us. We expect the other person to make us happy. We expect the other person to take care of our needs.
And actually this is not a very high level of maturity. Basically if we realize that we are the ones who bring the attraction after the beginning stage. In the beginning stage naturally you are attracted to someone, you see them fulfilling needs, and so you're coming to, y'know, get your needs met and it makes you happy and there's attraction and all is good.
But then, when you get to the second stage of relationship which is a power struggle, if you don't realize that it is what I bring to the relationship that's gonna make me happy, then you're in a lot of trouble. Because then you'll start complaining, you'll start whining, you'll start nagging, you'll start attacking because the other person isn't taking care of you in the way you want to be taken care of.
Now, in a relationship when there's a fight, y'know one person is more independent and the other more dependent. And the dependent one is trying to take from the independent one and the independent one is dissociated.
So, like Tiger's partner, his wife, will be more jealous and possessive and things like this and her attractiveness, as beautiful as she is, won't be as high. So her stock has gone down. So when you're the independent one the key function in the relationship is to keep your energy turned back toward your partner.
If you can keep in sexual integrity and value your partner it just keeps lifting them up so you have that equality that makes a relationship succeed.
Now if you are the dependent one you need to value your partner more than your needs and keep committing to equality. Keep committing to partnership. Keep committing to the next step.
There's one thing worse than having a jealous partner and that is being the jealous partner. So if you're, y'know, have mercy on your partner, if you're compassionate, when they have jealousy and reassure them and connect with them and value them and raise them up basically you'll keep step by step moving out of this whole pattern.
You can tell what your jealousy level is in a relationship out of the amount of jealousy you have and the amount of jealousy your partner has and that's how much jealousy you have. So if you help your partner you don't have to go through it yourself.
So this is the first step in relationships. If you don't learn about independence/dependence you won't ever make it in a relationship. Its the first and most crucial lesson.
Now if you make it past there you have to learn about how to deal with temptation. Because when you're about to take the next step in your relationship the ego's going, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" Because it'll lose some of the separation and independence, it'll lose some of the control that the ego wants. And so its best effort to stop us from going forward is that it will create a temptation outside the relationship.
And just, the quality your partner was about to develop, that's the quality you'll see in the partner next to you. And so if the ego succeeds you'll have a split mind. You'll be getting pulled in two different directions. Your power will be lessened. Your focus will be lessened and if you get this going all around you then your mind becomes split.
And you lose that power of your sexuality for creativity. Its not always meant to be sexual, sometimes its meant to be creative. Its the very force that makes you successful. Its the very force that allows you to be creative. Its the very force that will have you enlightened.
And if you, y'know, peter it out or squander your sexual energy you won't have it for transcendence.
And you get split-minded and you get guilty when you start having affairs.
Let me give you an example of this. I've always talked about how this will work if you keep, when you are tempted notice the quality, that's what your partner's about to develop. So if you take the energy, you can keep the connection, the friendship, because you do have a connection with this person, but to bring that back towards your husband or your wife. And within two weeks your partner will have developed the very quality that you were tempted with.
In a lecture in Vancouver in 1990 I had a person in the question and answer period after I'd talked about this kind of aspect of temptation. He said, "wait a second. Do you mean to say that if I keep my energy toward my girlfriend, who is flat-chested instead of this woman who has these bodacious ta-tas, that in that many days, that within two weeks my girlfriend's gonna have bodacious ta-tas?"
I said, "What is it you think about when you think about ta-tas?"
And he said, "Well, I think about sexiness, and I think about comfort, and I think about nurturing, and I think about being happy."
I said, "That's what your girlfriend will have. Its not necessarily the form."
I said, "but I have received a letter of thanks from one of my Japanese students whose wife has gone up two bra sizes because he has brought the energy back to her."
So I want you to say it could be the form but it will always be the quality. So just notice what is it I'm tempted with-- that's whats about to develop in my partner, let me just bring the energy back to my partner and keep committed to my partner and we'll go to the next level.
So the key is not to squander your sexual energy. Its there for bonding. Its there to take you to higher and higher levels.
Y'know when you get to a dead zone we have a level of whats called the Oedipus Complex, and this triangle relationships. Y'know the key form of an Oedipal Complex is triangle relationship.
That's why Camelot fell. Y'know that's why we've had people of vision who lost their way because they got caught in the whole Oedipal Complex.
So you have a triangle or a rectangle going on and it destroys relationships. And its a pattern that hasn't been healed since childhood.
Now one of the things going on with Tiger is that he was so concentrated on his sport he didn't get to have his childhood.
So for a guy, many of, all of our needs then gets transformed into sex. And we think sex is the answer but its something that is never enough, y'know, and we keep seeking more and more but somehow we're not fulfilled.
And it won't be fulfilled until we actually start giving what we thought we needed. And that's not just giving sex, its giving sexual energy and its giving to our partner. And then you start reaching these levels of emotional fulfillment and love and sex gets re-bonded.
Y'know, when we're children, before there's a split, before the great split of Oedipus where we lose that bonding, and love sex get split, y'know, its just naturally subsumed. And its in the form of love.
But now we have sex and we have love. And sex can be exaggerated or repressed as children, or both.
And then when we come up into our present situation in our relationships, this is unfinished business from the past so by this dead zone stage of the relationship we're bringing this up onto our partner
And we have to learn, OK, now I've brought, oh my God, my mother's face onto my wife and this is all subconscious but now I feel like oooooo, I'm just not attracted to her at all. Because its my mother.
So if you have awareness about this you can communicate about this. And these triangle relationships are all part of the Oedipal trap.
So for Tiger, y'know, God bless his soul, y'know, I just hope he learns about really committing and moving forward in the relationship, 'cause all of this can be healed and they can learn these lessons.
It doesn't have to stop here and he can go to just become not only what hes been in this sport but even something more major. And to learn this lesson and to be a good example about relationships and about being a sports icon also.
So, Tiger, we hope you get this. I'm behind ya, I'm sending my blessings, sending my commitment to you. I hope you do well.
Thanks.
