Lency Spezzano writes about her ca. 1982 "phenomena" period where she attempted to recover from the breakup of a previous marriage and explored Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (aka Osho). This contribution is to the January 2003 Nightlight Newsletter:
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Lency Spezzano
Hum-Sah
Back when I was around 29 or 30, I was in my “phenomena” days. It was a rough period. My first marriage had failed, I had gone through a period of delicate health, and I had taken on a dramatic paradigm shift. As a result, the “causes that be” behind the veil had gifted me with some encouragement in the form of other dimensional phenomena. Without that encouragement I don’t know where I would have ended up. Regardless, betwixt my days of boredom and meaninglessness I experienced some interesting adventures. From what I have learned since, I understand it is better not to need such encouragement, but that was where I was at the time.
For example, I had read in one of the interesting books by Rashneesh (an Indian guru later called Osha, who encountered some bad press) about an exercise that you could do to connect yourself with your Higher Self. From what I remember, it had something to do with heavily hopping about flat footed, chanting the Sanskrit words “Hum-Sah!” (I’m sure there was more to the ritual that I can not remember.)
Sure enough, as I hopped around my bedroom chanting, something started to happen. My visual field dissolved, and before my eyes I beheld a huge eye staring back at me. It was a great shock to see such a thing, and after a moment or so I recoiled from it.
When I recovered, I reconsidered. That was really cool. I decided to retrace my steps in hopes of recovering the experience. I hopped around and Hummed and Sahhed, but no further phenomenon occurred. I was too protected against it happening again.
Phenomenon is a tricky thing. It can give you a boost or a kick in the pants when you most need it. At the same time, it is so addictive that it is only given when nothing else will suffice. Phenomenon does not mark specialness. More often than not, it is awarded to people who are so ornery in their fight with God that nothing else will get their attention. Nothing else will move them forward in their growth. When it happens it happens because it is time for it. When it does not happen it is because you do not need it. Be glad. When you see it in others, be happy for them, but also compassionate. Their attachment to it will cause disappointment and pain in the long run. Trust the process. It is all good.
with Love from Lency
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