Joining is Good / by Lency Spezzano

UK Psychology of Vision trainer Jeff Allen's "Steps to Leadership" POV spinoff includes a number of videos to enhance the lessons. What follows is a transcript with screenshots from Lency Spezzano's presentation on "Joining." Mr. Allen has folded this video into his curriculum.

The video is over 13 minutes long and appears to have been filmed in British Columbia (since I recognize two Canadian POV trainers in there) quite some time ago. From what the camera shows us, the small audience looks to be entirely female. As Lency speaks, the background consists of the POV triangle and Chuck Spezzano sitting silently in a chair while scanning the crowd.

The talk is concluded with an actual joining session, starting around the 11:00 mark. Chuck Spezzano also takes part in the exercise: 

https://vimeo.com/121790500

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So welcome to the talk called "Joining is Good." Yeah?

Joining is good. We human beings suffer an illusion of separation. We grow up in a world that completely supports the concept that we are separate individuals, that we're alone in this life, that there's no real connection that we have between ourself and others, between ourselves and the world, between ourselves and the infinite.

But that is just a mistake. In fact, there is really only one of us here.

And if we learn the art, and its a simple art, of joining we discover that we are connected with all of life.

To join is to take one's awareness and extend it to another. To define the other as not being separate from you but being part of you. And you can take this same awareness and definition of self and extend it to a group.

We can create a group mind here in this room that expresses itself in unison, that shares feeling, that shares understanding so that I can feel what each and every one of you are feeling, you can feel what I'm feeling, we can feel what each other are feeling.

And we share consciousness. So to be able to share consciousness is a very exciting thing. Because if I can raise my consciousness to the level in which I remember my relationship with Heaven, if I can remember God and at the same time extend myself to you so that I remember that I am you, and we are one mind then clearly a triangle opportunity occurs. So that our hearts are joined, our minds are joined, and the focus is shared.

So this particular kind of work, this joining work, healing through love, is simply a joining with another, starting at the heart level and then a raising of the consciousness, raising of the tension so that we can have the opportunity to be healed by Divine love.

Love is the only real truth in the universe. And if you can invite love into your mind at any moment love will just clear the board, it will straighten things out, it will line things up in a way they are supposed to be, it will solve the problems, it will move you forward, it will comfort, it will ease pain, it will just clean up everything that is not love.

So, the question is, how to love? Its a great idea but for most of us its just an idea. Its not an actual experience. Its a thought, y'know, its like a duty. I love my parents, I love my grandparents, I love my cousins, I love the people in my church or I love the people in my world.

But its not an actual physical felt experience. Its not that sweet, delicious nectar-like experience. Its not that touch of joy. Its not where everything else falls away and there's intimacy, there's beauty. Its not that experience where all of a sudden a backdrop falls down and discover that you're in Heaven and that the people with you are so perfect and so very precious.

But this is what's available for us as human beings. This is what we're designed for. This is what we're created for. We're supposed to be living in the presence of love. We deserve to live in Heaven on Earth.

And its merely a factor of how much we can open up to the experience of love in the present moment. Because love is actually pouring down to us, through us, every moment. Its what sustains our life.

But because we have our conscious mind, our conscious awareness trained in another direction we don't even notice it. We can't feel it. We can't taste it. We don't get to enjoy what is our natural heritage. Its just lost to us.

Instead we experience the suffering of not noticing the love. We experience separation. We experience isolation. And separation in all of its forms is pain. Joining, and all of the ways that it expresses itself is love, is joy.

So, we're going to today to have an experience of joining. And it may sound slightly frightening because we human beings are really afraid of intimacy. But we're more afraid of love than any scary nasty thing. Love is just too much and we have these life stories that say, "Well I wasn't loved correctly. I wasn't loved appropriately at the right time. Therefore I suffer and my life will not be good. And all of those who didn't love me appropriately at the right time and the right ways will have to pay. Because they will see the damage done to me."

And these stories that we have are so precious to us, we just love them. We really don't care how much suffering and pain is involved because we have all of these other benefits, which is to make others pay.

But at a certain point in your own maturity you're willing to give up the satisfaction of being right about these things. We give up that need to punish or control. And we just make a choice for life. We make a choice for truth and we value having truth in our minds and in our life and in our world more than anything else.

So even though it looks as if we're all separate the fundamental reality is that we're joined. I like to think of a good visual aide would be to picture the Hawaiian Islands, the chain of a number of different islands and they look separate but if you were to go underneath the surface of the water and look at these islands you'd see that, well, there's a tiny bit up above the surface level of the water that is giving the illusion of separateness. But if you look down deeper and go into the Earth you see that they're actually all joined. There is really only one Earth here and separation is just an illusion.

So this ability to recognize that we are one gives us a lot of opportunity. As I said before we can feel what each other are feeling. We can share experience. We can know each other. We can recognize oneness.

And as we recognize Oneness in each other and the opportunity of joining here at the human level there are other opportunities for joining that open up to us.

The most basic human right that we have is to know what we're feeling so that we can benefit from it, so that we can grow through our emotional experience, so that we can mature and refine and evolve.

We need our emotional experience and if we're dissociated out of our hearts, out of our emotional body, we get stuck. We don't move forward. We don't increase our emotional intelligence and we can't move forward because we certainly can't feel love if we're unwilling to feel emotion.

We only have one heart. There's only one place in us where we can feel. And if we're not willing to feel the whole gamut of human emotion we don't get to feel the good things. We don't get to feel the sweetness. We don't get to have bonding and intimacy.

So we'll keep our attention on our emotional state and we will be interested in this experience of joining. We will be interested in this awareness that there is no separation between us. And just through this awareness, just through this extension of ourselves, love springs in.

OK? So, just keep breathing. You will most likely have an emotional experience of some kind. For some people it may be dramatic, other people because of their personal style may be more controlled. Don't worry about what your emotional experience is or how it will be perceived. The only thing that is important now is just to allow yourself to be as true as possible, and to give yourself to the joining, and to just let go, and look for the love because the love is what will save us and lift us up. Right?

[Music begins]

So we'll play some music and we'll look for the love.